I haven’t posted here in nine years, since May 2016, and now it’s February 2025. I didn’t even know if this blog was still active online. Does anyone use WordPress anymore? But it’s here, so.

The URL name still resonates with me, in all sorts of ways. Since then, I’ve gained more than 20 pounds — plus 50 more pounds if you count our child that happened since the last post. What a joy he is. It’s not all postpartum weight, or perimenopause weight. Or is it? My brain is foggy all the time now. First, it was “mom brain.” Now it could be the fluctuating hormones and dropping estrogen of that puberty reversal, sometime down the line. Not totally yet, but I’ve been reading the book “The New Menopause” and following all sorts of Instagram accounts targeted toward women in their 40s, and well, something is going on. I’m also a LIVING SANDWICH. Now my 80-year-old mother lives with us, to form the bread on other end of my meaty self that begins with the bread of our 5-year-old child.

I married, moved from NYC to the nearby ‘burbs, added a cat, got to be a managing editor at a lifestyle magazine company, in charge of five publications, all of which I love to read and write for myself. Before that, I got to travel the country visiting fruit and vegetable farms, conferences and trade shows, writing articles, running a produce-grocery magazine and hosting fresh-produce podcast. I’ve always maintained some level of freelance writing (Food Network! Everyday Health!) on the side, which I’m doing full-time now, while also managing the social media for a local coffee-tea shop I adore. I’m also dabbling in the first steps of writing a book.

This blog was always about my food and physical fitness, though. But we know you can’t discount all the factors in our lives that contribute to —or detract from— our lifestyle goals. When I go through something challenging and emotional, I tend to eat more. I’m also practicing self-compassion and acceptance. The key here is “practicing.” It’s an ongoing effort. I try to move as much as possible. My moods swing so erratically and intensely, it’s tough. But I still love to run, even if I’m slower than I’ve ever been. If I get out there and am doing a bouncy walk, then it’s a run. But I’m also counting walks these days as exercise. I’m doing yoga, especially yoga sculpt, which feels like HIIT class (high-intensity interval training). I know I need more strength-training, especially at this time in my life, as muscle mass decreases even more rapidly. I have held onto a Peloton membership for five years, after winning a bike and a year-long membership in 2020/21. Needed THAT godsend.

I’ve signed up for two races this spring and summer, with two friends. I don’t have the heart for doing a race by myself these days, as it feels too lonely in the crowd. So I’m thrilled I have friends who will do this with me. They don’t even have to run the race by my side, mile after mile. Just starting together and finding each other after the end for a victory selfie is enough. But I always suggest post-race brunch.

Food-wise, I’ve been on a vehemently no-diet diet, further validated by this book I read years ago called “The F*** It Diet.” It’s all about finding freedom from our food and body image obsessions, no restrictions, and finding a homeostasis with cravings and weight and such. However, it’s confusing when you have a history of disordered eating, as so many of us do, to some degree. Food gives me so much joy and pleasure: growing it, cooking it, eating out, photographing it, writing about it. But I have many other interests and sometimes wonder if focusing my writing on those things would be better for me. I don’t have any of this figured out right now. I want something to change, but I don’t know what, or how. But something.

Thanks for reading this far, if you did. You rock. Maybe I’ll write here again before another 9 years.